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.... [May. 18th, 2011|10:45 pm]
I sit in my cubicle, here on the motherworld.
When I die, they will put my body in a box and
dispose of it in the cold ground.
And in all the million ages to come, I will never
breathe or laugh or twitch again.
So won't you run and play with me here among the
teeming mass of humanity?
The universe has spared us this moment.

-- Anonymous,
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... [Apr. 1st, 2011|09:51 pm]
And so we return to the great void.

I should probably be working on a script, but the mental energy required is sometimes lacking after a long day at work.

Life has moved on since I last posted here and yet in so many ways it feels as if everything has remained the same. Old friendships have fallen into entropy and new ones have been created. Maturity gained and mistakes made.

Film is now the passion; a recording, not literally, but a way of measuring emotion at a particular point in time as manifest through the various narratives I find myself drawn to.

A similar comment was made by a friend of mine recently proclaimed he wants to bring a camcorder when we goes out. He's not creating fiction like me but I believe the motivation is similar. To give clarity to the grayness that can envelop us if we are not careful. To mark down the passing of time, to make it all seem real. I respect his motivations; not many people can sense the deadness or put it's negating energy into words, but he has and my own actions appear validated in this light.

I am perhaps more productive that I have ever been, though my motivations are ultimately the same.

I'm working on a script with a friend that will take it to the next level and bring the void into the real world, if only for an instant. All my saving and spare time are being spent on it. Nothing is as important as this now, expect of course the Foundation, but that dream is still distant.
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the long ride home... [Jul. 9th, 2009|11:49 pm]
And we are... aware.

Now, for this short bracket of actual consciousness, let's get some thoughts down.

Why am I posting another entry in this dead journal when virtually everyone else has abandoned it? Perhaps because the idea of someone actually reading these late night ramblings is slightly more desirable than taking the true path of silence and writing something down in a book. Quaint and old fashioned, yes, but not really for me. Spontaneous thoughts that one might be tempted to write down in a private book tend to ferment themselves in some form of spontaneous action, usually a piece of actual writing or an excursion of sorts.

A trip to the beach at night with a few cigarettes to smoke on the bonnet of the car and some Lou Reid, a walk down some old path full of memories from times that were to be honest no better than these, but are desirable for the simple fact that they are gone and will never come again.

I am still trying to think up another idea for a short film to pitch to the class next Thursday. Honestly I haven't really been trying too hard - at some point I'll sit down and watch some short films and think up a plot. My first film was quite a success by the way, in a dramatic sense, probably because the inspiration it was based on was so real.

Right now I'm looking for some immersion.

Not something to drink or someone to fool around with. Something to take my mind to another realm, which probably involves a journey of some kind and someone who is also aware to make it real. I've spend the whole holidays working and looking for apartments. I go back to university on Monday and not once, not once did I ever find myself 'in the moment'.

Total neutrality. You don't feel bored, you don't feel unhappy, you don't really feel or think much of anything, which probably explains why people in the old days were somewhat less in need of psychiatric treatment - they were just too damned busy to get depressed.

I'm not really in the mood for comedy, which is why I didn't write one for my next film. Something a bit more self reflective and melancholic, like this blog entry is more the ticket I think. Something that leans into the other world, that will be my new inspiration.
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