|the long ride home...
||[Jul. 9th, 2009|11:49 pm]
And we are... aware. |
Now, for this short bracket of actual consciousness, let's get some thoughts down.
Why am I posting another entry in this dead journal when virtually everyone else has abandoned it? Perhaps because the idea of someone actually reading these late night ramblings is slightly more desirable than taking the true path of silence and writing something down in a book. Quaint and old fashioned, yes, but not really for me. Spontaneous thoughts that one might be tempted to write down in a private book tend to ferment themselves in some form of spontaneous action, usually a piece of actual writing or an excursion of sorts.
A trip to the beach at night with a few cigarettes to smoke on the bonnet of the car and some Lou Reid, a walk down some old path full of memories from times that were to be honest no better than these, but are desirable for the simple fact that they are gone and will never come again.
I am still trying to think up another idea for a short film to pitch to the class next Thursday. Honestly I haven't really been trying too hard - at some point I'll sit down and watch some short films and think up a plot. My first film was quite a success by the way, in a dramatic sense, probably because the inspiration it was based on was so real.
Right now I'm looking for some immersion.
Not something to drink or someone to fool around with. Something to take my mind to another realm, which probably involves a journey of some kind and someone who is also aware to make it real. I've spend the whole holidays working and looking for apartments. I go back to university on Monday and not once, not once did I ever find myself 'in the moment'.
Total neutrality. You don't feel bored, you don't feel unhappy, you don't really feel or think much of anything, which probably explains why people in the old days were somewhat less in need of psychiatric treatment - they were just too damned busy to get depressed.
I'm not really in the mood for comedy, which is why I didn't write one for my next film. Something a bit more self reflective and melancholic, like this blog entry is more the ticket I think. Something that leans into the other world, that will be my new inspiration.